There will always be times when we are tested. The key, I recently found out, is not to just continue to follow blindly, nor to wander around aimlessly. The key is to be aware and secure of yourself.
In times when the challenge becomes too confusing and difficult that you lose sight of where you are, frustration and depression are common. These past few months, I have been battling with those two as I trudge a new path… a path God has led me to, but hasn’t delivered me from yet. I was on the verge of slipping and finally telling God, “I am done. From now on I’ll do things my way, for my benefit.” Reason? Because I followed Him. I went where He told me to go, but I do not think I am in a great place. I followed Him, and I feel I am in a worse place while those who do not listen to Him, those who do things mainly for selfish gains, are getting ahead in life and gaining all the things I hope for.
And I was so, so close to falling.
I imagine Satan was already rubbing his hands together in anticipation for my soul as I decided to break away from the Lord and “pursue what is good for me.”
Thankfully, God kept me. Just yesterday, after months of agony, frustration, and doubt, just before I officially act on my emotion-driven decision, God opened my eyes and heart to His words once again and used a God-centered friend to make me realize the why and where of my situation. Through that friend and His words, I was able to actually see what He wants to tell me without rancor or doubt, and His message was clear:
“I have brought you out of slavery. You cried and just as I did with Israel, I answered and delivered you from where you were. You have set out toward the land I have promised you. But now you are in the desert. Here you are tested. Here your character and faith is being tested. Are you going to whine and recant your faith just as the Israelites did? Are you going to tell me that you were better off where you were just as they did? See, even when they were in the desert, I provided for them. I protected them with cloud and fire. Likewise I will do for you. But answer me this, would you let the desert take away your connection to Me and hinder you from arriving at the Promised Land? Daughter, I love you. Let this not be so.”
So I respond by taking up arms once again and strengthening my heart with Him as I walk in this desert with my King, my Protector, my Father.. knowing that victory is certain, and that even while victory is not yet here, my God is with me, and He is fighting for and taking care of me.